i was just a stupid kid back then, i take back every word that i said.

It has been 4 months since I have been to New Hampshire to visit my parents. Since Christmas actually. I grew up in a really small town (population about 3,000). My little elementary school was from K-8 and the high school was about 800 kids from 9 different towns. Everyone knew everyone.
So, naturally, I would run into people I know everywhere. Which is completely true. Doesn't mean I have to like it. In fact, I dread the literal high school reunion when I go to get a sandwich or a cup of coffee at the cafe. It's annoying to tell people over and over about what I am doing, where I am living, etc. Not like I care what they are doing. Some people I run into (sometimes literally) are short and sweet. Chit chat blah blah done. Some people drag it out with long awkward pauses, remember that time when you... and then convincing me to meet up with them and so and so tonight at the Lucky Dog for some laughs and beers. NO! I wasn't friends with you ever, why now? I don't even live here anymore! And you do!
Speaking of living here, even though my house is just like I remembered it, I feel like I am staying at a New England B&B. My childhood room is devoid of most of the things that I filled it with. The posters are off of the wall, all the artwork is stacked in the closet, my old clothes are gone and books are piled in bookshelves and not scattered all over the room. It's clean. And when I went to bed last night, I felt like I was sleeping in a hotel bed. This was the bed that I have slept in since I was 8 and my dad built it for me. It was so foreign. I woke up really confused as to where I was. And it was fucking cold. Even though I like sleeping in a cold room. It is really sad to look around a place that I have had my whole life and feel like I didn't belong there anymore. Like something I had written about in a story but never experienced in real life. Even the city scape mural painted on my wall didn't remind me of home.
I finally felt grown up.
Maybe one day I will stop sleeping with a stuffed animal.... Nah.