probably the worst sentence in the english language...

besides "It's not you, it's me", "let's just be friends" or "your skirt is tucked into your underwear and everyone can see your butt" just might be APRIL FOOLS! 

Seriously, I hate April Fool's Day. It's so mean. And it just reminds me of pain and suffering endured during elementary school when some cruel hearted popular girl would be like "Wanna come play chase the boys with us?" Then my heart would burst with 1,000 yesses.  "APRIL FOOLS!!!!!" And they would run away giggling. If I knew the F word then, I would have said it.

I used to come to school with a sling on April 1st to try to trick everyone into thinking I was injured. It never worked and I was just that girl looking for attention from an injury... even though I totally wasn't and I thought it was wicked funny, guys!  The sad thing was I did it every year from 3-5th grade...

I realize that I hold contempt for such holidays as New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day and April Fool's Day because they are either set up for the pure face of embarrassment or involve pressures to act like an idiot and therefore embarrass yourself.  Plus, these holidays come with a paralyzing anxiety to perform. 

For example: on NYE you can't be drunk enough, you HAVE to have a resolution and that kiss at midnight, don't even get me started...  St. Patty's is stressful because with a last name like Murphy you HAVE to participate.  Slugging shots of Jameson or Guinness pints, singing Irish drinking songs, wearing green, speaking Gaelic... it's all a requirement. And on April Fool's Day there is a constant paranoia that someone will prank you at every bend.  I was already Rick Roll attempted by Jon via Twitter.  There is also that pressure to perform a prank.  So you rack your brain all day for the perfect thing, google searching "April Fool's Pranks" etc.  By the end of the day you just end up scaring your roommate when she gets out of the shower.  Is drawing a dick on your front door to prank your landlady appropriate? No? Then I have nothing.

I hate holidays that aren't surrounded by love and comfort.  Holidays where it is safe and you are celebrating something (even if you don't believe it happened).  The above holidays are not celebrating anything but paranoia and embarrassment.  And I have enough of that in my everyday life! I don't need to celebrate my short comings by projecting them onto someone else.

So, please, just leave me be today. Okay? 

Obliged.